If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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