I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
even my farts smell like vagina
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
