I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
