I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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