sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
