Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Randomize
