What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Rumble strips road head = magical
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
