o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
