the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
