I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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