If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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