who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
