Farmville is her only friend.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
