did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
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