You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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