Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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