Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
