In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
