so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
