I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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