It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
