i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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