His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
