the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
