why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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