Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
