Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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