hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
