The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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