So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
