Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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