YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
He has the fingertips of a God
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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