I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
