I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
