Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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