...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize
