70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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