Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
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