And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Randomize