All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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