I hate your face
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
