Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
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4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
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The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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