I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
