scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
