I molested 6 butterflies tonight
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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