Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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