I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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