Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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