speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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