Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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