Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
