maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
