Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
