your room smells of hookers.
And success
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
