Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i think i have two assholes
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
