when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
