The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
