good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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