i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
