party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
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