I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
