She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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