after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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