I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
