i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
