This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Plan B is the new Plan A
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
