she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
