I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
