you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
